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      I Want to be an Awesome Robot

      If you’re looking at the description of the book on this commerce website, I can only assume that you’re seeking a quick summary of what this book is about. People are like that, always asking questions like: What’s this thing about? Where are we going? What’s on your shirt? Why are you ignoring me? Why won’t you take your headphones off? What is that machine over there? Are those headphones protecting you from it? Why can’t I feel my legs? Well, I can’t answer all of those questions that I’m just assuming you’re shouting since I can’t hear you over the Daft Punk I’m listening to. Okay. So. Let’s start with what the book is about.

      I Want to be an Awesome Robot is a collection of humor, almanackery, and memoir. It is a work of jokes and lies, with some truth mixed in, plus a lot of stuff about catgirls. The title is about how I long to escape this disgusting meat prison, but it’s only a minor part of the book. Most of it deals with tabletop role-playing games, anime, Japan, catgirls, food, entertainment, parts of the world I have visited, some of the secrets of Silicon Valley, and some maudlin observations about life and my family. There’s also the Today in Geek History calendar, which presents an untrue fact about the history of geekdom for each day of the calendar year (plus one or two days I made up, plus 12 more so that I could do a Sup Dawg joke and have a calendar in a calendar because I apparently hate myself, at least when it comes to giving myself more stuff to write). Oh, and there’s a Fun Activities section, including coloring pages, a crossword puzzle, a card game, etc. No, seriously.

      As for your other questions, if I knew the secret to immortality or how to get rich quick I wouldn’t be losing money self-publishing stuff like this out of a twisted need to make the world a slightly stranger place. That tattoo that you don’t know where you got it appears to be the work of agents of the World Nerd Council, though I’ll get in trouble if I tell you any more. I wrote such a long, meandering description because that’s just how I do things and if you don’t make it through this the book probably isn’t for you, but if you do there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy it. Your mother’s will is in safe hands (for now), but you may want to head to Lake Geneva soon to finish things yourself. You know what I mean. Oh, and the Japanese term you’re looking for is “nekomimi.” Hope that helps!

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