It had to happen eventually: we'd have to cover an Uwe Boll movie. It's probable that you've read a lot of breakdowns of Boll's ineptitude, but nothing beats getting a first hand taste. This is one of the worst movies we've ever seen.
Alone in the Dark is about as successful as an adaptation as it is as a film... not at all. You have a main character who dresses like Edward Carnby, and some supernatural stuff happening, but that's where it stops. Instead, we dredge the Z-list to create an action movie where Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff, and Tara Reid grapple to see who has the least charisma. Seriously, this thing is a master class.