Edit product

$0.99+

Self-Defense Against Babies

Babies can strike at your most vulnerable organs before you even know they exist. Therefore babies are ninjas. It's time we reacted appropriately. There are thousands of guides for dealing with new babies, but they're all about supporting, and helping, and nurturing, and otherwise surrendering to our new overlords.

Science fiction spent decades warning us that humanity would create our own replacements. But these replacements aren't machines: they're babies. Or should we say GENETICALLY ENGINEERED HYBRIDS WHO WILL TAKE OUR STUFF WHEN WE DIE? Yes, yes we should, because that's exactly what they are, and the first part of their plan is hormonal brainwashing to make everyone think this is normal.

You need help now, and you need it against babies. Most baby books are written from the point of view of helping the baby. Most self-defense guides assume you're the one in danger of being throttled by a violent lunatic driven to desperate measures. This book will correct both of those mistakes. 

Contents: 5,800 words, DRM-free eBooklet in mobi, epub and PDF. 

You've purchased this product

See it in your library

View in Library
Sorry, this item is not available in your location.
Sold out, please go back and pick another option.

Name a fair price:

Checkout

Self-Defense Against Babies

Enter your info to complete your purchase

Card

···· ···· ···· 4242
Test card

05/18

Card

Use a different card?

Card

pp paypal

or pay with

We do not keep any of your sensitive credit card information on file with us unless you ask us to after this purchase is complete.

or pay with

Please confirm your location:
You'll be charged US$0.99.

Your purchase was successful!

We charged your card and sent you a receipt

    Gumroad Library

    Download from the App Store or text yourself a link to the app

    Good news! Since you already have a Gumroad account, it's also been added to your library.

    Powered by Gumroad