Recommended for you

Our recommendation engine has come up with some personalized suggestions for you.

Discover more products

    Is this your street address?

    Card

    ···· ···· ···· 4242
    Test card

    05/18

    Card

    Use a different card?

    Card

    pp paypal

    or pay with

    We do not keep any of your sensitive credit card information on file with us unless you ask us to after this purchase is complete.

    or pay with

    Please confirm your location:
    Your card will be charged .

    Thank you!

      Gumroad Library

      Download from the App Store or text yourself a link to the app

      Download from the App Store or text yourself a link to the app

      Send SMS
      Nevermind

      99¢

        Swap Meat

        Swap Meat

        Heh hoo hee hee hee heh heh huh! The tiny town of Lake Labinnac has a secret... and that secret is bargains! The locals are friendly and eager to meat you! Join thrift-seekers Brandt and Mallysa on the browsing adventure of a lifetime as they visit the SWAP MEAT, where bargains could cost... an arm and a leg! Like, literally!


        APPETIZING EXCERPT!

        Mallysa closed the door of the truck, having stashed her purchases thus far behind the cab's front seats. The parking lot was starting to empty out. Most of the vehicles left had vendor parking labels in their windows.
        "It's getting late," said Mallysa to herself. "And my tummy is telling me it's snack o'clock!" It wasn't quite late enough for dinner, thought Mallysa, but maybe everyone in this hick town ate early. Could be the local culture. Humidity makes people do strange things. All Mallysa needed, though, was a quick munch of something tasty and she'd be ready for another round of item appraising, bargain pursuing, and memorabilia hauling.
        Near the back of the vendor area, Mallysa found a sausage stand called JARRET'S. Behind the steaming counter, holding a pair of tongs, was Jarret himself. As Mallysa walked up, he was giggling to himself, lifting the steel trays that covered the steaming sausages, poking them around while they cooked from the propane-driven heat. He pushed a trucker cap from his forehead to wipe some sweat off his brow.
        Noticing a customer's approach, Jarret looked up and flashed a grin, his teeth looking like schoolchildren fighting to cut to the front of the line, edging each other out. "Hey there, young lady. Can I get you anything today?"
        "What's your specialty?" asked Mallysa.
        "That's hard to say," said Jarret. He poked in the steam tray. "It changes. We're very— we're very tied to local, sustainable sources. Heh hoo heh hee hee!"
        "You have a very infectious laugh," said Mallysa.
        "Infectious. Hmm. Well now, you may be right. Lots of folks in my family got this kinda laugh. Thanks to 'prions.' That's what I heard. You ever heard of 'kuru'?"
        "Doesn't sound familiar," said Mallysa. "What is that, a leaf? Like kale?"
        "Nah," said Jarret. "If you look on Wikipedia, it says that kuru is a 'degenerative neurological disorder.' Biggest words I ever came across. Dang. Ain't got no cure, neither. Apparently they got it in Papua New Guinea, mostly, but it's around here some, too. Heh heh eeh hee heh hoo! Ain't that funny? Call it 'kuru' but ain't no cure-u."
        "I'm sorry to hear about that," said Mallysa. "That's really sad. But before that, you were saying something about 'local and sustainable'?"
        Jarret nodded, chuckling to himself. "That's our creed and motto. Some upsides, some downsides."
        "Local and sustainable sounds good to me," said Mallysa. "I'll take a sausage, then. You make them yourself?"

        -------

        SWAP MEAT

        DIRECTED BY George G. G. George

        PRODUCED BY Art Luman & Mark Gunk

        APPROX. 27 pages

        HV016-1116

        Sorry, this item is not available in your location.
        Sold out, please go back and pick another option.

        You've already purchased this product.

        • With your purchase you will get the word-movie ebook in both .mobi and .epub formats along with some thrilling cover art for your home printer!
        • DIRECTOR George G. G. George
        • PAGES Approx. 23
        • ID HV016-1116

        Card

        ···· ···· ···· 4242
        Test card

        05/18

        Card

        Use a different card?

        Card

        pp paypal

        or pay with

        We do not keep any of your sensitive credit card information on file with us unless you ask us to after this purchase is complete.

        or pay with

        Please confirm your location:
        Your card will be charged US$0.99.

        Your rental will be available for 30 days. Once started, you’ll have 72 hours to watch it as much as you’d like!

        Thank you!

          Gumroad Library

          Download from the App Store or text yourself a link to the app

          Download from the App Store or text yourself a link to the app

          Send SMS
          Nevermind

          Thank you for your horrible purchase!

          For more thrilling titles and previews of coming attractions from Horrible Vacuum International go to:

          www.horriblevacuum.com