Is jealousy an issue in your relationship?
While everyone gets jealous or suspicious from time to time, experiencing jealousy on a regular basis and letting it take control can be highly problematic.
This book will help you deal with jealousy in new and empowering ways.
55 pages of simple, interactive activities and reflections to help you befriend jealousy instead of letting it hijack your life.
Developed over twelve years as a psychotherapist and relationship coach, this guidebook will walk you through the exact tools you need to develop new skills to deal with jealousy in your relationships.
JEALOUSY WILL EAT YOU ALIVE
When jealousy strikes, we compare ourselves to our rival, feel threatened, or imagine worse case scenarios. All of which are disempowering.
Letting jealous negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurities grow will only lead to more negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurities.
The more we let these thoughts run unchecked the more we believe them. In this program, we’ll learn to identify these problem thought patterns and interrupt them quickly.
JEALOUSY IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT
The most common experience of jealousy I witness is one of feeling hijacked. It's like you’re cruising along confidently and suddenly out of nowhere jealousy, insecurity, and anxiety bandits hijack your cruiser.
And when they’re driving we end up way off course or worse, we crash.
When jealous reactivity takes over we’re not thoughtful and often self-sabotage in destructive ways that harm both us and our partners.
We might act WAY out of alignment with our core values when we let jealousy drive. We do out of character things like check partner’s text messages, read emails, manipulate conversations, use spite and sarcasm, shout, pout, whine, and sneak.
We get controlling, clingy, and invasive. And then we feel terrible about it. Most of us shame spiral soon after we’ve been hijacked by jealousy. It’s not pretty.
In this program, we’ll focus on how to slow your reactivity to stay in an intentional, careful, balanced place to minimize harm and self-sabotage.
For some of us, jealousy is an issue our whole lives and/or in relationships all around us. It shows up in friendships, and family, at school and work, and in our romantic relationships too.
Chronic jealousy and insecurity can seriously damage intimate relationships. People who are chronically jealous or suspicious often misinterpret what is going on—taking what might completely innocent and interpreting it in the worst way possible.
When we jump to conclusions it can drive us crazy and create defensiveness and distance in the relationships that matter most.
As we work through this program we’ll reflect on our origins of jealousy to build awareness of our patterns with jealousy and shift them.
JEALOUSY IN PARTNERSHIP
Learning how to deal with jealousy effectively is critical to maintaining a healthy relationship because suspicion and insecurity usually lead us to down harmful paths.
Partners and friends will get distant and defensive over time if we hold too tightly to insecurity.
For some of us, a history of broken trust leaves us suspicious and doubting trust in the present. We want to learn from our past, but carrying that history forward without clear intention can also be damaging in the present.
In some relationships, major violations of boundaries, lack of reliability, and/or unclear boundaries have damaged trustworthiness. Learning skills of trust repair can dramatically improve our relationship with jealousy.
And honestly, most relationships can use a little trust tune-up.
FIVE PHASES OF THIS PROGRAM:
In this program, we’ll work through taming reactive jealousy in five phases.
1. Reflection: Identifying jealousy
2. Reflection: Deconstructing insecurity
3. Action: Self-Soothing
4. Action: Changing our story
5. Action: Community of support
6. Action: Partnership: Talking about jealousy
Each section includes both reflections to gain clarity and awareness and challenges to help you take action to change your jealous behavior patterns.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Gina Senarighi, PhD, CPC is a certified relationship coach, retreat leader, speaker, and author specializing in human connection, intimacy, authenticity, shame-resilience, and alternative relationships. For over twelve years she has supported hundreds of clients creating fulfilling integrity-based relationships according to their own rules.
She earned her Master of Arts degree in Marriage and Family Therapy in 2010 from Saybrook University. She received her Bachelor degree in Education from the University of Wisconsin in 2002 and a Masters of Science in Education with a minor in Human Sexuality from Indiana University in 2004. In 2019 she completed her PhD in Spiritual Studies and Pastoral Counseling.
Gina was named Portland’s Best Life Coach in 2019 by Portland Business Recognition and has taught psychology courses, communication workshops, couples intimacy retreats, and guest lectured on alternative relationships and sex-positive therapy at universities across the US. Students love her no-nonsense “real talk” presentation style.
Gina knows with better relationship and sex education we’d build a more compassionate, creative, confident, and fulfilled society. She believes we are entitled to desire and we all need meaningfully connected relationships to thrive. She knows all relationships need a tune-up from time to time and has been praised by clients for her friendly non-judgmental approach to couples work.
She understands first-hand the struggles creative and entrepreneurial couples face as they navigate the abundant joys and challenges that come with a high-achieving lifestyle. Her clients span the globe as they set forth to make the world a better place for us all.
When she’s not teaching, coaching or consulting you can find her in her gorgeous urban garden, hiking Door County with her tiny dog, cooking lavish dinners, playing with her two sweet kids, or traveling the world with her partner, Rae.
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