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Release date: 2020. Star: Sung-min Lee. Liked It: 69 votes. directors: Min-ho Woo. country: South Korea. 114 M. Nothing makes me happier than having predictions absolutely implode in my face. There were some tough upsets in the first round, and some tense moments as the usual “heavy favorite down two sets” situations rolled out. I saw a number of people on reddit cursing the rain, and their frustration at having to wait to lose a 20$ parlay that was never going to hit anyway is almost worth witnessing the ignorance of someone not wanting Australia to get rain. If I had my way the next two weeks would be a downpour in that lovely country of jumbled up animals and lightly pickled people. Nobody cares what I think though, so on with the predictions. Nadal Delbonis: Nadal made quick work of his first round, and here is another “we don’t fix the draw” matchup against a claycourter. Shocker, the winner will likely face PCB in the next round, and if things go the predictable way we should see a fresh Nadal into the 3rd to face Kyrgios or Khachanov. Sousa’s movement was severely hampered and now the math adds up from why Pospisil seemed like he was overwhelming Sousa with pace in their match two weeks ago. Delbonis has a good game for holding serve because he goes big, but this is oneway traffic. Nadal in 3. Gojowczyk PCB: After a brief scare, both of these unique players are through to the second round. PCB will stand as a pretty heavy favorite here, as Gojowczyk tends to produce his best tennis indoors and at the 250 level. The serving woes and tendency to appear at duece in every game will give PCB some difficult moments here as Gojo will go big and he can catch fire, but ulitmately PCB is the better all-around player. PCB in 4-5. Kyrgios Simon: Kyrgios played solid in his opener against Sonego and Simon dispatched Cuevas a bit quicker than I expected given his somewhat slow start to the season. This is a faketest for Nick, as Simon is going to keep returning the ball until you manage to hit it through him. Nick will have to look for cheap points on his serve as his game during the rally is effective but his weight of shot is not always such that Simon will just break down. The longer the rallies the better for Simon, who will be quietly hoping for a Kyrgios implosion. We might get it for one set, but most likely Kyrgios continues to plug along, and with McEnroe’s publicly announced 1k donation per Kyrgios set-win, he should have some extra frustration/motivation/mental gymnastics that I hope go in the right direction. Kyrgios in 4. Ymer Khachanov: Ymer might be the player who made the most improvement in the offseason, but he really did not need it against Uchiyama. Uchiyama showed not much offense, and was reduced to arguing for challenges with the umpire while the match was so far gone that Ymer graciously offered him the challenge. The exchange actually was some good insight into what a good dude Ymer is as he interrupted the argument to say “if he wanted to challenge you should let him” and when the ref disagreed he suggested “maybe he did and we both missed it. ” Simple enough but that kind of self-awareness/humility is nice to hear. Ymer basically went into retreieval mode late in that match because not much was necessary, but he’ll need to play some offense against Khachanov, who is undoubtedly very sharp after a war with Vilella Martinez. Martinez played excellent, and I look forward to seeing him on tour this season. Khachanov has a tendency to drop sets even when favored, and this is one where I see him doing so. Ymer has been serving very well and is the kind of athlete that would basically be a pro at anything he chose. I don’t think he’ll be able to ultimately break down Khachanov’s backhand, and the edge in serving over 5 sets goes to KK. Khachanov in 4-5. Monfils Karlovic: Monfils dispatched Lu as expected, and now his challenger draw continues. Results bias is a real thing, and Pospisil being favored against Sousa and then winning caused me not to notice Sousa’s knee injury, and to assume he had risen to some extra level. I still have a lot to learn about tennis, and court level observation is paramount in being able to identify when someone’s movement is hampered if they aren’t noticeably wincing or showing it. I’m dumb is the point. Karlovic did what Karlovic does, and is through relatively fresh to play Monfils. Monfils’ serve isn’t always aces, but it requires a level of movement that Ivo doesn’t really have. It should be easy for Monfils to hold serve, but he’ll have to remain focused as Ivo has a knack for applying pressure at net and Monfils has a tendency to want to entertain the crowd with lobs and dropshots. Monfils’ movement should be the big edge here as he may be able to return enough serves to get the errors out of Ivo whose backhand is touch-and-go at times. Monfils in 3-4. Bedene Gulbis: Bedene seemed like he was on his way home, but righted the ship to get past local favorite and coolname dude James Duckworth. If I ever have a butler, or a duck, I’ll name him Duckworth. Gulbis and FAA played by far the best match of the first round. Gulbis produced very skillful tennis and FAA fought for all he was worth to push the pace to a level that Gulbis would make errors from. It didn’t happen though, and Gulbis’ one weakness which is his movement wasn’t really exposed. He’s always been a worldclass skill player with a great deal of power and the fluidity to adjust his swing to get the ball where it needs to go, and while it might seem a disappointing loss for FAA, it’s an exciting win for the draw. Gulbis’ record against top 100 players is bad, unexplainably bad, and there is something to be said here for Bedene actually being more likely to beat Gulbis than Felix. Felix is looking to iron out what his gamestyle is and seems at times to be guessing which shot to hit next, while Bedene is a journeyman who knows he’s going to apply pressure and look for forehands. Gulbis may be primed for a third round appearance here unless his level drops, so was it the extra motivation of snagging a young player who may be a future star, or is he well-prepared for this event? If the former, he’ll probably win the first set and lose to Bedene in 4. If the latter, I think he can win this in 4. Fritz Anderson: Fritz winning aggravates me, and the opening line of almost a pickem against Anderson makes me think today is a good day to do some yoga. The smooth-swinging lazy looking piefaced American made quick work of Griekspoor, who I actually thought would have a shot at winning outright. There’s nothing like the same score 3 times to make it obvious one guy was in cruise control, and given how well Fritz served and how much Anderson struggled with Ivashka who is solid but a cut below Fritz there’s an argument to be made (cringe) that Fritz will get through to the third round. Anderson is still an ex-finalist at this level, so I expecto patronum this will go deep. Someone in 5. Bolt Thiem: Bolt managed to hit through ARV and earn a solid tour win. Up next is Thiem, who for me is making an argument for it to be the big 4 again. Thiem has some hardcourt struggles, and while it was straight sets he did play some extremely long games against Mannarino whose fade kinda looks like a baby birds feather or a piece of fruit that rolled along a very dusty floor a little bit before you picked it up. No reason to really think Thiem will falter here, but Bolt is peligroso. Thiem in 3-4. Medvedev Martinez: Not sure how Martinez didn’t get the memo that he’s supposed to be in Nadal’s quarter of the draw, but he made good use of his freedom to snag Koepfer. That’s the end of that, as Medvedev lies in wait and hasn’t really lost to anyone he wasn’t supposed to in over a year. What a consistent performer the young old man has been. Medvedev in 3 unless Martinez offers him some Werther’s. Munar Popyrin: This is a popcorn match stylistically. The big question mark is can Popyrin hit through Munar’s defense. Neither player was really tested in the first round as Tsonga was injured and Gaston is not quite at the level yet to compete at a major. I am unsure of what to expect, but lean towards Popyrin’s offense being legit. He’s been swinging for the fences for several seasons and things seem to click fairly often when he plays in Australia. Popyrin in 4-5. Isner Tabilo: Goofy ass Isner plays 4 more tiebreakers. I am not a fan. You’re 37, you can stop bouncing the ball between your legs now. I will apologize and cheer for Isner again when he publicly denounces Gimelstob for being a knob, but it won’t happen, so the abuse continues. Further, my bias will be on full display because I somewhat expect Tabilo to be able to compete here. The problem with predicting Isner losses is they almost always require serving lapses, or timely guesses on where the serve is going in tiebreakers. In between these moments he basically bounces the ball over people heads, and sort of threatens to break their serve in between shanking forehands sideways trying to run around his backhand. Tabilo is unfortunately the second lefty clay-courter that Isner is facing, so the rhythm of shots likely won’t impact Isner as much. I’ll be cheering for Tabilo to gut it out, but it’s more than likely Isner wins this one. Isner in 3-4. Seppi Wawrinka: Dangerous one for Wawrinka. Seppi beat Kecmanovic rather quickly, and Wawrinka had a rather difficult time with Dzumhur. He tends to improve as things go on, and there won’t be any surprises in tactics for either player in this one. Seppi is certainly a cut above Dzumhur, and I could see him actually pulling this off if Stan lets him get deep into the match. Wawrinka in 4 or Seppi in 5. Goffin Herbert: Many do not know this, but these two dudes were the only extras in the Lord of The Rings movies who did not require makeup to play elves. Chardy continued his rough start to January losing in straights to Goffin who seems for the first time fully recovered from his eye issues, and Herbert got past the scrappy Cam Norrie who I believe is next in line to become king now that Harry left. This should be a highly skilled affair, but Goffin has the edge in movement, and his play in his win over Nadal at the ATP Cup showed a level that Herbert hasn’t yet achieved. Goffin may actually be a darkhorse to win this event, and there will likely be some value on him against Ruvlev in the next round as one does not simply hit through David Goffin. I really nerded out on this writeup, but Goffin in 3-4. Sugita Rublev: Sugita ended Benchetrit’s underdog run quickly, and Rublev and O’Connell put on a great show. O’Connell’s conditioning is incredible, and Rublev seemed to have to will himself past the Aussie. Is he running out of gas? 3 weeks of tennis in a row is a lot, so much that we don’t generally see it happen. He’ll have a brief reprieve against Sugita, who is a solid player with good flat shots, who kinda lacks the offense needed to beat Rublev. Barring a Rublev implosion, we’ll see him through to the next round. Here is a brief list of things Rublev kinda looks like: -a shaved koala -a shaved giraffe (note: giraffes are not real) -a shaved rublev -the final boss in a video game about angry vegetables that live in some soup -a tree that’s had all its bark chipped off -a mop on steroids -a jack-o-lantern Owen Wilson’s stalker made in his honor Basilashvili Verdasco: Nikoloz turned in his usual 5 round comeback, and hitting through Kwon for 5 sets is no small feat. Verdasco beat lucky loser Donskoy in straight sets, which doesn’t mean much since Donskoy is more than likely on his way off tour this year. Verdasco has started the year off on fire, and it’s tough to pick against him here. I am a shmuckdragon though, and that’s exactly what I think I’ll do. Basilashvili has better mobility, a better backhand, and most importantly the pace and offense to take control of the rallies when Verdasco steps off the gas. These two have split their previous matchups, with Verdasco taking the most recent in a lopsided 3rd set. This lends itself to Verdasco being able to come through, but I don’t think it will be as straightforward as the oddsmakers do. Basilashvili in 4. Gerasimov Zverev: Gerasimov is becoming a problem on tour. Big serves and solid power and a general disrespect for the name and rank of his opponent are something good to bring into a matchup with paper tiger Zverev, who beat Cecchinato in three routine sets. I don’t exactly like Gerasimov to win here, but if you look Zverev is only giving 5. 5 games which means Vegas likely thinks this is going to be a close one. Zverev has become Kyrgios to me in that I love to see him step up and play great and win, but it is exhausting waiting for it to happen. If he does and sets up Basilashvili Zverev rd 3, that’ll be one of the best 3rd rounds. If he rolls the ball in and complains to his box about things they aren’t remotely doing or affecting, he may lose this one. Berrettini Sandgren: Berretini is the next best thing on tour after the big 4 and the next gen, and he advanced through his first round fairly easily. Sandgren did the same, and Trungeliti helped by standing deep in the court to return the entire match and allowing Sandgren to hit the outwide serve over and over and over and over. Big odds on this one, and Sandgren is a major douche so I love to cheer against him, but his serving coupled with how hard he hits the ball make me think he is a threat here. Berretini has been in close matches since he joined the tour, and hasn’t blinked once, but there may be some frustration here if he’s unable to break, as Sandgren has some big wins in majors and clearly brings his best game. I’ll add in that Sandgren, who is generally plump, showed up looking pretty muscular, which is odd on tour but a signal that he may be more committed to training this season. Berrettini in 4 or 5. Berankis Querrey: This is another one that scares me, because I love watching Querrey play his best tennis, and I never quite understand how Berankis takes players out of that. He doesn’t have a big serve, but his groundstrokes are huge for his stature. Querrey served well against Coric, who likely has a calendar marking off the days until the slow courts of Indian Wells arrive. Querrey should win this match every time, but similar to the Berretini Sandgren tie, the underdog isn’t going to fold just because of the situational pressure. No pick in this one. Pella Barrere: The odds on this one are rapidly dropping. Barrere terrified everyone by going down frequent breaks of serve against Safwat (a name to watch in future events), but righted the ship. He’s quickly becoming a veteran of lengthy matches on tour, and that will serve him well if he wants to beat Pella. Pella had one of the easier first rounds in Smith, and came through as expected. I’m not sure what makes people so sure Barrere is simply going to dispatch one of the best defenders on tour, and Pella has a ton of experience in majors that is going to be a bonus. These are intangibles though, and their weight is indeterminable. Both players are in good form and should be fairly fresh. Someone in 5 but I would not be surprised to see Pella run away with this. Thompson Fognini: Go home Bublik, you’re drunk. Thompson never took the foot off the gas long enough for nerves to set in, and despite Bublik getting to 0-30 more times than I can count, he was unable to break back in any of the sets where he gave up the early lead, which was all of them. Better luck in the grass season, and a good spot for Thompson to continue to use effort and pace to profit as he plays Fognini who had one of the best comebacks of the first round. Fognini has to be aware that this section of the draw is wide open for him, and although Thompson is a grinder, peak Fognini possesses the skill and physical ability to embarrass someone if all they play is defense. These odds are set tight (-160 Fog +140 Thompson) and I think that’s correct. It’s hard to think that Fognini is going to be comfortable in rallies after playing relatively short ones with Opelka, and Thompson is going to present a much more difficult returner, but a much less effective server. No pick here but I’d lean towards the first set winner winning the match. Fucsovics Sinner: Fucs! Fucs looks to have packed on some muscle this season, and steroids = matchwins. No no no. None of these guys cheat. Sinner is a future top 10 player, and Fucsovics doesn’t play anyone in the draw except people at peak form as a rule, so this one should be good. Purcell is a solid player but went down quickly in the first round, and Fucsovics’ win over Shapo has to be the upset of the 1st round. This one should go deep, and while Sinner has the edge in ballstriking Fucsovics is capable of playing a level of defense that Sinner has not faced yet outside of De Minaur in a very shortened format in his home country. Jannik over Marton in 4. Paul Dimitrov: This one is interesting, as the same “one set win” expectation I had for Londero is here for Paul. Dimitrov lets his opponents play which means anyone has a chance to get the match deep, and Paul swings for the fences and has speed which means he’s the right guy for the job again, but the difference here may be that while Londero doesn’t really make errors, Paul is about as prone to put on in the net for no reason as Dimitrov. I’m actually of the opinion that as Nadal/Federer fade a little from the limelight that Dimitrov will find his game, and this is a winnable match for him if he utilizes his speed and isolates Paul’s backhand. Surely he has someone in his camp who will tell him this? Dimitrov in 4. Hurkacz Milman: I was unable to catch the Hurkacz comeback but the Novak win would have been sweeter, as he’s been brilliant but just off the tour rankings for as long as I can remember. Milman outworked Humbert, and is now listed as a pickem with Hurkacz, which is a puzzle to me after seeing Hurkacz’ level at the ATP Cup. I would caution against backing either player here, as fatigue has to be a small factor for a big dude like Hubert, but also Hurkacz is way more comfortable and consistent in long rallies than Humbert. I actually thought that Hurkacz would be a heavier favorite in this one, and the line has scared me because I am r/startledcats. Someone thoroughly fatigued with no chance against Federer in 4-5. Krajinovic Federer: Federer in 3. Tsitsipas Kohlschreibah! : Kohlschreibah! These two players have very similar styles with variety and no rush to end the rally being their hallmarks. Tsitsipas ended the season on a very high note and the quick beating he gave Caruso make me think that while Kohl is always crafty, he will need Tsitsipas errors to really win this one. Still his early challenger win was very impressive, and Tsitsipas is a brilliant tennis player who is convinced he is more brilliant than he is. His instagram quotes read like he’s Jaden Smith’s ghostwriter, and this always troubles me. Tsitsipas in 4, or Tsitsipas in the clouds mumbling nonsense and Kohl in 4. Garin Raonic: So is Raonic injury free? Is he going to start his ascent up the rankings again? We’ll find out quickly here, as Garin gives nothing away and has spent the past year winning lots of matches that with his weapons he is not supposed to. Fairly straightforward, can Garin return serve, or does this go to tiebreakers where he’ll be at a big disadvantage. Fairly straightforward, can Raonic avoid throwing in a 0-40 start to a service game once a set, and has he played enough tennis to convert when he has the initiative. Raonic in 3-4. Paire Cilic: Paire is an inconstent performer who has gotten his game together and is serving great. Cilic is a consistent performer who has fallen apart and serves into the net despite being extra super tall. Very fitting that they should meet here, and although Cilic has been terrible and Paire has been excellent, I think Cilic will be the less frustrated player here. Cilic is a solid returner and has a cannon of a forehand. Paire rolls his in a bit too much and I think Cilic will look to isolate this battle. The odds on this I think should be a bit tighter with Paire around 170 and Cilic 200 but shrug, I am not the Vegas. Cilic in 4-5. Mmoh Bautista: Mmoh beat Andujar in straight sets like everyone had been doing in majors on hardcourt up until last season. I expect the usual 2 claycourt 250 title wins in a row from him, but for now the jaguar king can rest. Mmoh came in in good form, and has a good test here to see if it’s legit, or he’s still a cut behind the tour. RBA sits with Goffin as a rather underestimated player in this draw, and a quick dismissal of Mmoh here would set up a winnable match with Paire/Cilic that would get him noticed. “Why won’t they notice me? ” is probably not on RBA’s mind, as one look in his eyes will tell you that he is actually un roboto. This would be an implosion on RBA’s part, and i don’t see it coming unless Mmoh is about to be a big factor on tour this year. Too similar, too defensive-minded, and relies too much on his speed. RBA in 3-4. Schwartzman Fokina: Wow was Harris unable to return serve in that first round matchup. I have to eat that prediction loss. Fokina fought to a nice 5 set win over Gombos. I don’t suspect this one will be a serving affair, and Fokina is a very good clay-courter, but Diego’s rhythm in the first round during rallies looked effortless and I think he will have the edge here. Diego in 4. Polmans Lajovic: Polmans played Kukushkin who battles for every point and never gives up for 4 hours. The jury is out on whether he can recover in time to play Lajovic, but if he can he certainly will have a similar test. Lajovic (next to RBA) was the player who benefitted the most from the ATP Cup, and he continued his form after a shaky start and reeled Edmund back in from down 2-5 to a straight sets win. If Polmans is able to recover (this is speculation he may be fine), then Lajovic still should be favored here. Lajovic in 4-5. Evans Nishioka: This is a tough matchup to call. Evans looked lost early against McDonald, and though he came back to win with a lot of fistpumps and posey backhands, it bothers me. Nishioka outworked Djere and both these guys should like their chances here. Evans has a slightly better serving game, and unless Nishioka can break down his backhand, he should have a small edge here. The 5 setter with McDonald though makes me nervous. Ito Djokovic: Novak hasn’t lost yet in 2020. This won’t be it. Djokovic in 3. Barty Hercog: Bartburg played well after an early hiccough against Tsurenko. This is another match where she should roll, but Hercog possess the skill to play at Barty’s level if she’s on. The serve should be the big difference here. Barty in 3. Minnen Rybakina: The Minnen line just kept moving towards Minnen until I fell for it. The 7-5 scoreline doesn’t exactly make me think I did the right thing, but Greet is a very solid player with fluid swings. She should have a good match with Rybakina, who has been one of the best players on tour in early 2020. Rybakina in 3. Riske Zhu: Tough to call this one, but I’m leaning Riske in 3. Neither player tends to win more than 1 set in a row, but Riske’s 1st round win was more comfortable, and she is used to 7-5 games in the third. Goerges Martic: Another very difficult prediction. Goerges has the heavier shot and better offense, but Martic is way more consistent and has better results in majors. Someone in 3. Keys Rus: Rus likely cost a lot of people money as Linette’s ability to hold serve disappeared midway through the second set and never returned. Rus got the job done though and there’s not much reward for her, as Madison Keys has been able to play consistent early in 2020. A quick drubbing of Kasatkina doesn’t bode well for Rus, who had to earn a lot of her points. Keys in 2. Hibino Sakkari: Hibino continues to play well, and she should challenge Sakkari a bit more than Gasparyan as she is way more mobile and not looking to force offense as much. Sakkari is looking to solidify the hype surrounding her game, and this is a winnable match as much as it is a losable one. I think she falters at least once, but has the power and athleticism to pull out the win. Sakkari in 3. Alexandrova Krejcikova: Both these players went 3 in the first round, and Krej beat the way better player, but now Alexandrova in a 5:1 favorite. This may be a result of the market not being familiar with Krej, but it also may be a testament to how legit Alexandrova has become on tour. You’ll rarely find her less than a 2:1 favorite in matches, and while this means nothing in terms of her results, she sits outside that top tier of players as the next best thing. I’m not sold that this is oneway traffic, but it’s hard to go against Alexandrova. Alexandrova in 2-3. Badosa Kvitova: Very surprising loss by Larsson. 1, 0 is not a score you generally see but perhaps she was fatigued or injured. Kvitova beat Siniakova by the same scorelines which is downright frightening. Badosa can be in whatever form she wants, it’s unlikely the opponent matters to Kvitova until it’s someone with a similar level of offense. Kvitova in 2. Osaka Zheng: Good win for Saisai, and a quick one for Naomi. Zheng is a faketest here, and I don’t think Osaka is fake anymore. Osaka in 2. Gauff Cirstea: By the time you’re reading this Cirstea will already be the favorite, as this line has been sliding consistently since Gauff opened at -170. That’s where I bought it, as I expected it to go the opposite direction. Cirstea has been good to open the year, but Gauff served well against Williams and I liked how she went after her forehand. I’m happy to be wrong on this one, as Cirstea is relatively unproven on tour and Gauff is unequivocally a future #1. Gauff in 3. Zhang McNally: Another Sloane loss. McNally proves herself. These are good headlines. Another good test for McNally is whether she can hit through one of the more consistent players on tour right now. I don’t suspect she can. Zhang in 2. Li Kenin: Kicking myself on this one as Li can clearly ball but I haven’t had the time to catch one of her matches yet. I’m a big fan of Kenin’s game, but wagering on players I’ve never seen is against the rules, so I’m skipping this one. Matches between countrywomen are often fudgey the whale, and I expect Kenin to roll here but it could be tighter with Li’s comfort level being higher than it would against an international player. Kenin in 2-3. Jabeur Garcia: Great win for Jabeur on a big stage over Konta. Her reward is a slightly out of form Garcia, who beat Brengle. Brengle kinda played like she’s never served overhand before, and whether it was fatigue or pressure, Garcia feasted on it. Jabeur won’t offer up the same setups, and her offensive forehand may actually pressure the well-practiced Garcia into finding the net more times than she wants to. Jabeur in 2-3. Wozniacki Yastremska: Woz is the greatest pusher ever to play tennis, and watching her slowly move the ball around the court and hit line after line was a great experience. It’s sad to see her go, but this sets up some good passing of the torch opportunities. This is the first. Yastremska should win this match. She has all the power, and hit through Kerber’s defense last week. Wozniacki can be very frustrating, but her serve lacks the juice to keep Yastremska from swinging for the fences, which is the only thing she swings for. It will take a lot of errors for Dayana not to get this W. Yastremska in 2-3. Wang Ferro: Great win for Ferro! Solid performance from Wang. I think Wang should take this one comfortably, but I’m generally wrong when I disrespect a professional athlete, and Ferro may nab a set here given her level in the 1st round. Wang in 3. Zidansek Williams: I wrote something about Serena Williams, and I’ll post it up before the third round, which she’ll be in. Williams in 2. Bencic Ostapenko: Ostapenko surprised me by thunking Samsonova so easily. Bencic struggled at times but came through in straights as well. This should be a good one and while I am inclined to think Bencic has a way better overall game, Ostapenko’s big swings late in a match can be the difference maker. Bencic in 2 or Ostapenko in 3. Vekic Cornet: We’ll never know if Sharapova was alone on tour in her cheating, but it kind of adds some extra umph when watching her lose. Cornet coincidentally claimed not to be home several times when the doping agency showed up randomly to test, and given all the random bans of players there’s a good chance that all these guys are cycling on and off at during times during the year (and there goes any chance of ever getting a press pass). Cornet has smaller weapons here, and Vekic’s serving should be all the edge she needs. Vekic in 2-3. Bellis Muchova: Apologies Bellis, I didn’t know you were back. 0 and 2 against Maria is a solid score, and that makes her next match against Muchova somewhat winnable. Muchova had to dig deep to get past Flipkens, and I actually think there could be some “relief” issues after winning a third set tiebreaker against a player who your main goal is simply to move side to side. I think Bellis wins the first and I’m unsure where we go from there. Someone in three. Collins Putintseva: Fact: Bears eat beets. These two met two weeks ago, and Putintseva was the one getting the beeeeeeets as she scored 1, 0. Not really sure how this is supposed to turn around, and the -200 +170 seems cheap, and also is one of the most common lines that an underdog succeeds with in tennis (not that statistics mean anything in the future, but it’s worth noting because now when you see that line you will be hella paranoid, you’re welcome). Collins in 2. Dart Halep: Halep balled out in the first round, and Dart earned a good win but shouldn’t have the offense to shut down Halep. Halep in 2. Svitolina Davis: Should be some long rallies in this one, and Svitolina should win them. Davis notched 4, 0 in their last meeting, and I expect her to fare a bit better this time, but with a similar victor. Svitolina in 2-3. Muguruza Tomjlanovic: If you downloaded MUGURUZA The App! you know Muguruza somehow got zipped and then her opponent scored 1, 0 in the next two sets. If that’s confusingly inconsistent, then you need to download MUGURUZA The App! Apps aside, this is a winnable match for either player and with the home crowd behind her Ajla has a good chance to become an early favorite. Muguruza is always a threat to find her form and go lights out, but that is likely what will be required as Ajla generally keeps the ball on the court. Diyas Blinkova: Blinkova gets a quick rematch here after her loss to Diyas in a heartbreaking three-setter in Shenzen. What I saw there was that Diyas’ use of the moonball and backhand down the line were really efficient in preventing Blinkova from setting her feet which allows her to dictate fairly strongly. Blinkova makes fewer errors than Anisimova but Diyas may be in better form than she was in Shenzen. This one goes the distance and I think given the relatively difficult “major upset” afterglow that Diyas is carrying and Blinkova being fresher for this one (it was hot as F in Shenzen) she may get her revenge. Rodionova Bertens: Already a great year for Rodionova beating Sloane and a few other tour players. Bertens is a big ask though, and with a relatively easy match against Begu she’ll be fresh for the task. Stil, Bertens has a tendency to have lapses in her level, so Bertens in 2-3. Kuznetsova Giorgi: Big win for Kuznetsova and a winnable 2nd round. I think her consistency and serving are enough to edge past Giorgi, but this should be a high level tennis match. Kuznetsova in 3. Hon Kerber: I think Kerber may be primed for a good run here, and this is a good match to show it. Hon shouldn’t be able to compete here if Kerber is at her best, so we’ll get a good idea of her level during this match. Kerber in 2-3. Siegemund Pliskova: Pliskova has one of the coolest tattoos on tour, and Siegemund has the most knee surgeries. Probably Pliskova wins here, but if she struggles serving Siegemund will make this a match. Pliskova in 2-3.

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Source: This week at Bungie, we’re looking into the near future. We’ve talked a lot about how Shadowkeep will change the way we play Destiny, and we’re not even done yet. We’ll have more to say before October 1 about how the game is about to evolve. There might even be a final pre-launch Bungie ViDoc about Year Three next week, but that’s not my promise to make. Keep your eyes up. Seeing Guardians rejoin Eris on the Moon for a new adventure is not the only thing we’re looking forward to when we daydream launch day. As this new campaign against the minions of the darkness begins, a new Season of Destiny gameplay will begin with it – followed by three additional seasons of updates. We’re about kick off a whole new year of explorations, rewards, and surprises. But not everything should be left to surprise. We know that Guardians like to plan their gaming sessions. This calendar shows what’s coming free to all players of Destiny 2, what’s in store for Shadowkeep, and what’s included with Season of the Undying: Image Link imgur Save these dates! If you’re not one to over-plan your life, you know we’ll keep you up to date from week to week on what awaits you in the game. That’s just what we’re about to do right now. Shadowkeep Sandbox Update: Weapons Last week, we did a bit of a deep dive on upcoming changes to abilities in Shadowkeep. This week, we’ll be giving a patch note preview on how your weapons will be fine-tuned. For this pass, the team put some love in to a few Exotics that may have been collecting dust in your vaults. On top of that, a bit of tuning has been done in how damage is applied to different targets in PvE environments. In terms of how these changes will impact your PvP experience, a few weapons and archetypes are being buffed, with some seeing more aggressive range falloff to give breathing room to Scout Rifles and other weapons. Combatants - General Minor enemies (Rank-and-File) no longer take more precision damage than other enemies. These enemies previously took twice as much damage to their precision hit locations than enemies of higher ranks. You will still deal precision damage, but this is now entirely dependent on the weapon, as it is for higher ranked enemies. Weapon Changes - General Weapon mods are now treated as reusable unlocks instead of consumables. Any mods you have in your inventory will be converted to unlocks This gives players the opportunity to play with different mods more frequently If the only copy of a mod you have is already in a gun, you will need to reacquire one to unlock it Auto Rifles PvE damage increased between +30% and +25% depending on combatant rank Bows PvE damage increased by +31% against minor enemies, and +26% against major enemies Fixed an issue where bow draw times were displayed incorrectly in the inspection screen Hand Cannons PvE damage against minor enemies increased by 30% Lightweight and Adaptive hand cannons use a new firing animation while aiming down sights This change was made to increase weapon accuracy when firing these weapons as fast as possible Ex: Currently, players can shoot faster than the recoil animation of 140/150 archetypes – so while the handcannon looks to have fully reset from recoil, the following projectile will be shot as if the weapon was still in a recoiled state. Reduced the effect the range stat has on damage range falloff (effective range) for this weapon archetype Machine Guns PvE damage against minor enemies increased by 25% Increased the effects of damage range falloff on this weapon archetype Pulse Rifles PvE damage against minor enemies increased by 28% Increased the effects of damage range falloff on this weapon archetype. Archetype specific damage changes (impacts both PvE and PvP gameplay) Rapid-Fire Pulse Rifles now deal 14/23. 8 base/precision damage (Previously 13/21. 4) High Impact Pulse Rifles now deal 21/33. 6 base/precision damage (Previously 20/32) Scout Rifles PvE damage increased between +36% and +18% depending on combatant rank Sidearms PvE damage increased to minor and major combatants by 16% Sniper Rifles PvE damage increased by +47% against minor enemies, +20% for others Exotic sniper rifle perk damage bonuses have been modified to compensate for this change and they will not receive the full benefits as a result Submachineguns PvE damage increased by 22. 5% against minor/major combatants Aggressive Frame Removed the intrinsic effect of "Deals bonus damage at close range. " This bonus was 10%, but was unintentionally always active The bonus damage has been moved to the base damage for 750 RPM Submachineguns, resulting in no damage change As a result, Tarrabah and The Huckleberry gain 10% damage in both PvE and PvP Exotics Sweet Business Increased magazine size from 100 to 150. Increased PvE damage by 15%. High Caliber rounds have been replaced with Armor Piercing rounds. Damage changed to 15/21. 2 base/precision (Previously 13. 21/21. 14) This weapon no longer requires you to be firing when you pick up ammo to have it automatically reload. Graviton Lance PvE damage increased by 30% Sunshot Increased magazine size to 12 Vigilance Wing PvE damage increased by 25% Crimson Damage changed to 19/30. 5 base/precision (Previously 13. 76/24. 75) Fixed an issue that was causing this weapon to deal higher flinch than intended Merciless Fixed the missing aim assist stat for this weapon Ace of Spades Memento Mori's damage bonus is now affected by range falloff Lumina Noble Rounds should apply their buff to allies more reliably now The Colony "Serve the Colony" now functions as Auto Loading Holster does Perks Subsistence Reduced the impact of this perk on total reserves Ricochet Rounds Removed the hidden bonus to damage falloff Swashbuckler Perk now activates when getting a kill with Ball Lightning Grave Robber Perk now activates when getting a kill with ranged melee abilities (ie: Ball Lightning, Explosive Knife) One-Two Punch Reduced the effectiveness of stacking One-Two Punch and Cross Counter (Liar's Handshake) Ex: Players won’t be able to defeat Riven in less than three seconds after Shadowkeep launches using the combo of One-Two Punch and Liar's Handshake, but we know many of you will try other builds… and potentially even succeed.  We still have a few TWAB’s before the release of Shadowkeep, which will shore up our patch notes previews on a variety of topics, ranging from Black Armory Access to bug fixes. Stay tuned! Reckoning: One more thing… Destiny 2 Update 2. 5. 2. 2 recently brought some frequently requested Quality of Life changes to Reckoning and rewards. Next week, we’ll be making one additional change to the experience, further bridging the gap between you and your desired rewards. Image Link imgur Starting on September 17, all negative modifiers will be removed from Reckoning. This activity will continue to feature a weekly singe, with a daily rotation of Brawler, Grenadier, and Heavyweight. Our goal in this change is to improve the replay-ability of Reckoning, so players will feel more inclined to hop in to matchmaking for some sweet loot. This should also help to address some feedback items from players that specific modifiers could feel too punishing (We’re looking at you, Blackout Darkblades). If you’re looking to get your hands on some weapons from Season of the Drifter that have eluded you, I reckon this is your time to shine. One after another Image Link imgur Fresh on the heels of Update 2. 2, we’re prepping 2. 3. Destiny Player Support already has your itinerary prepared, so you’ll be prepared for the upcoming download. This is their report. Destiny 2 Hotfix 2. 3 Next week, Hotfix 2. 3 will become available to players in Destiny 2. This hotfix targets an issue which is currently preventing a subset of players from enabling Cross Save, and marks the removal of negative modifiers from The Reckoning. For deployment times when they are available, follow @BungieHelp on Twitter or monitor our support feed on. REMINDER: Steam Linking and PC Migration For the next several weeks, we’ll be reminding PC players to link their Steam accounts to their profile, in preparation for our migration to Steam on October 1. From October 1 onward, any existing PC player who links a Steam account to their profile will automatically be migrated forward to the Steam ecosystem. To prevent the unintentional loss of Guardians, game licenses, and Silver, it is imperative that all PC players make sure they are linking their correct Steam account to their profile. REMINDER: Destiny 2 and Silver Purchases on For the next several weeks, we’ll also be reminding players that Destiny 2 game content and Destiny 2 Silver can no longer be purchased from the Shop. Existing PC players can continue to play on until Destiny 2 migrates to Steam on October 1. At that time, new players are also welcome to jump in with the launches of New Light and Shadowkeep. Additionally, every existing PC player should be aware that in order for recent Silver purchases to successfully transfer to Steam, players MUST log in to Destiny 2 on before October 1 to claim their purchased Silver. Saw something Husky happen on Mars Image Link imgur Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. For some of you Destiny old timers, Husky Raids began a trend in content creation, staging wonderful music videos on the destinations of Destiny. They inspired many to dance to their favorite tracks from the methane seas of Titan to the rocky outcroppings of IO. This week, our runner up is an homage, and we loved every second of it. Our selection for Movie of the Week just barely edged a win, thanks to some killer tunes and a wonderful array of action from the last two years of Destiny 2. Some of the clips may bring forth wonderful memories before we take our first steps into Year 3. Movie of the Week: Princes of the Universe Video Link Honorable mention: Saw some strange activity on Mars during Community Week Video Link If you’d like to put your name in the hat for Movie of the Week, make sure to post your content to the Community Creations page on, or throw a video to myself or Cozmo on Twitter. This week was home to Destiny’s 5th year anniversary. As I (might) still have your attention, I’d like to tell you a quick story. Five years ago, I was your average Bungie community member. I worked a retail job in San Diego, playing videogames into the dead of night and enjoying time with the communities therein. I had a few ideas on a future, ranging from Architecture to Graphic Design, but wasn’t set on anything just yet. The summer before Destiny shipped, DeeJ shot me an email asking if I wanted to help show off Destiny’s upcoming “Crucible” PvP environment at E3. It was a gamer’s dream, going to E3 and playing a new game early, surrounded by folks eager to see the new stuff. Not only did I meet some wonderful people that I have the pleasure of working with today, I had the opportunity to make some friends from other corners of the Bungie community. A few days in, I was introduced to a very tall man that went by the name of Cozmo. He was funny, somewhat awkward, and seemed to be the type that would throw something at me for no good reason at all. All things considered, I thought he was a pretty nice guy. He’d just made a new subreddit to follow the development of Destiny. While most of what could be found was purely speculation, it had already grown into a small community. There are many parts of the story that I won’t bore you with, but it was the beginning of a wonderful friendship that holds to this day. Destiny has always had that quality about it, making friendships a sort of loot that could be acquired through pure luck. End of the day, I’m glad to have found a perfect roll for a fellow Community Manager, even before we had applied for the gig. Thank you to everyone who shared their stories on how a game could positively impact their lives. That’s one of the things about community that we love most, and we appreciate that you’re a part of ours. With 5 years behind us, it’s almost time to take our next step. Two TWAB’s and a weekend stand between us and Shadowkeep. Feel free to start counting the sleeps. Cheers, Dmg04.

Like mampir. Omg! i really want to go in korean its have a beautiful place there. Semoga semakin langgeng kak Amiin... Many guys go on dates and “wing it, ” they just hope for the best and see what happens. These men might get a kiss goodbye, but rarely more. Leading dates towards sex (or a second date) isn’t difficult, but there are a few steps you must take to consistently get the results you want. Most (but not all) girls who go on a date with a guy in the 21st century are open to the possibility of having sex (sometimes they’re even disappointed when a man doesn’t make a move). We don’t live in the Victorian Era—modern society is getting progressively more sex-positive. Casual sex is a big part of today’s cultural narrative: random hookups are promoted in everything from pop music to family-friendly sitcoms. However, at the same time, women do still get slut shamed if they have sex ‘too easily. ’ Even if a girl wants to sleep with you, she will only go home with you make her feel like she won’t be judged. In this article, you are going to learn how to run your dates in a way that will both turn the girl and make her comfortable with the idea of going home with you. Not every girl will sleep with you on the first date, but if you follow the steps outlined below, many will. And if you’re not interested in casual sex, these strategies will also help you make the girls you date want to see you again. When a woman wants to sleep with you bad enough, it won’t be hard to convince her to go on a second, third, and fourth date. The Mindset She Has Already Chosen You If a girl goes on a date with you, it is implied that she’s attracted in you. You (hopefully) made it clear in the initial interaction that you are interested in more than friendship (here's an infield example of what this looks like:) Therefore, the girl knows that if she goes on a date with you, you’re probably going to make a move. If she isn’t attracted to you, what would she have to gain by going on a date with you? It would inevitably be uncomfortable for her and despite what many people think, women don’t like rejecting men, it’s just as awkward to turn someone else down as it is to get turned down. Most women will not go on a date with you unless they are at least open to the possibility that something romantic might happen. So, when a girl you approached shows up to meet you again, you have good reason to assume that she’s attracted to you. And it’s important to make this assumption, because if you assume a woman is not interested and wait to see signs that she likes you, you’re going to interpret everything that happens through the lens of, “She’s probably not interested. ”As a result, you probably won’t physically escalate or invite her back to your place. Conversely, if you assume she is interested, you will see everything she does through a positive lens, and you will be more likely to take risks. Positive assumptions don’t guarantee that you will sleep with a girl, but they create the opportunity for something to happen. When you ask a girl to go home with you, there’s at least the possibility that she will say yes. (In case someone who lacks social awareness reads this, when I say assume she’s interested, I mean assume it until she gives you a reason to believe otherwise. If you lean in for a kiss and she pulls away, respect her decision. ) Remember, on a date, there is very good reason for you to make positive assumptions. This belief isn’t arbitrary, it’s based on the fact that this girl took time out of her day to hang out with you when she could have done a thousand other things. She wanted to create a situation where something might be able to happen with you. Pick your poison: assume women are interested and risk an awkward moment, or wait for proof that women are interested, and go without knowing what could have happened if you took a risk. Preparation For The Date Once you’ve got the mindset down, the next step is to have a specific plan for how you’re going to lead your dates forward.   Have an excuse to pull Generally, when you pull a girl, you’ll make an excuse like, “Let’s watch a movie, ” or, “Let’s grab a drink. ” You should have ready a bottle of wine, food to cook (it can be as simple as a frozen pizza), a movie downloaded on your computer, or even a checkers board set up. The excuse to pull doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, but plan for it in advance, otherwise you’ll have to think about how you’re going to pull her while you’re on the date, and this can easily lead to overthinking and hesitation. Choose a favorable location Generally, I have dates about a mile from my place. There’s no reason to create difficulty for yourself by planning the date somewhere too far out of the way (of course, if she lives far away you may want to meet in the middle). Now, if you can’t pull to your place because you live with your parents, you’re homeless, or whatever, then find out what area the girl lives in and plan the date somewhere close to her place. I avoid dinner dates because they’re too formal, and this can make both you and the girl feel uncomfortable. Movie dates are also bad because you can’t really talk to the girl during most of the date, all you can really do is awkwardly put your arm around her shoulder. Instead, my go to is coffee. Coffee shops are in public so there isn’t any reason for a girl worry about getting ax murdered (compared to inviting her straight to your place). Plus, coffee shops are a very casual social environment where it’s easy to have conversation—and that’s what a date is really about, you and a girl getting to know each other. There are a few other good options for dates: Bars and clubs: Drinking can help you and your date get into a carefree mood. Obviously, you shouldn’t be getting yourself—or her—too drunk, but having a couple drinks in social situations is a cultural ritual for a reason. If you’re only comfortable going on dates that involve alcohol, that’s a problem. However, bars are generally a good place to get to know someone. Nightclubs are even better because you can dance with the girl (this is a very smooth way to make things physical). A public park: Parks are a good place for dates because you can walk around, see the sights, and talk. There’s also no financial investment necessary. Furthermore, parks are public enough that most women will feel safe, but there’s also enough secluded areas that you can find somewhere to make out with the girl. A group activity: You can invite girls to see stand-up comedy, to go to a party, or to see a concert. These dates aren’t as good as the above options for getting to know a girl, but they are good in that they are low investment—someone who’s on the fence about meeting you again may be willing to go to see stand-up with you, whereas she might not get coffee with you. These kind of dates are also good for building a social circle. You can set up a weekly event that you go to and invite different girls that you meet to join. This could be a game night at your house, a weekly volleyball game, or something similar. You could even find a group to join on and then invite girls to go to the group’s events with you. Before The Date I always confirm my dates a couple hours before the planned meeting time. This greatly reduces the risk of getting stood up. I simply text, “See you at (X location) in 2 hours:)” or something to that effect. Nine times out of ten, she’ll respond by confirming or flaking. If she doesn’t respond, I just text her again about 30-minutes before the date, “Are you on your way? ” And if she’s going, she’ll let me know. Doing this allows you to avoid wasting time by showing up to a date that a girl may have forgotten about or decided not to go to.   The Beginning Of The Date Build Sexual Tension Men often make dates too logical, almost like an interview. But women don’t go out with guys to exchange information, they go out with guys to exchange emotions. So, when you’re on a date with a girl, your overarching mindset should be that you’re there because she’s sexy, because you desire her. The words you say may be logical, but the intent behind them should be sexual. When you’re at the table with her, appreciate her feminine energy, notice how attractive she is. She will sense your desire on an emotional level, and because she’s on a date with you, she probably wants to experience a sexual charge in the interaction. Your desire for her will turn her on: she wants to feel desirable, she wants you to want her (). Of course, if you get the sense she’s becoming uncomfortable, take a step back, dial down the intensity of your eye contact and keep the conversation light for a while. Seduction is a two-way street and if you’re two steps ahead of a girl, the interaction isn’t likely to go anywhere. To create sexual tension, you don’t have to be physical and you don’t have to talk about sex. Although both of those things can help if they’re done well, they can also backfire. Understand: some girls don’t like being openly sexual in public because they don’t want to be judged as acting ‘slutty’. Therefore, too much physicality can make a girl uncomfortable. Similarly, talking about sex, if done in a way that isn’t tactful, can make you come across as a ‘fuckboy’: a guy with no class who only wants to get laid. Physicality and sexual conversation have their place, but they aren’t the most powerful methods for creating sexual tension. The best way to spark desire is by feeling it yourself (), and by holding strong, intentful eye contact. Truthfully, if you do these two things right, you’ll stand out as more seductive than 95% of men. There are other methods for building sexual tension (masculine vocal tonality, being dominant, teasing), but I wouldn’t focus on those until you’ve mastered the two aforementioned fundamentals—they are the points of greatest leverage. Build Comfort When you’re on a date with a girl, show interest in what she’s saying, ask further questions, and bring the conversation towards topics that are emotionally relevant to her. **The girl doesn’t want you to win her over as much as she wants to feel like she’s winning you over. ** Yes, it’s helpful to be witty and insightful, but it’s even better if you make her feel like she’s witty and insightful. Everyone is somewhat insecure about how interesting they are—especially women (because they’re unsure whether they’re being valued as human beings or merely as sex objects). If you can make a girl feel confident that she is interesting, she will be completely charmed by you. At the same time, you don’t want to seem like you’re pandering to the girl, it’s possible to come across as sycophantic if you are overly agreeable and complimentary. So, on the one hand you should listen carefully to the girl and show interest in her ideas, but on the other hand, she will trust you more if you occasionally challenge her. Be willing to disagree with things the girl says, this shows that you aren’t a pushover who’s being fake to win her favor. If you are constantly disagreeable, the girl won’t think you really like her, but if you are constantly agreeable, she won’t think you are being honest. There should be some occasional friction. So long as you show respect for the girl’s opinions even when you disagree with them, she will respect you because you were willing to stand up for yourself: now she knows she can really trust you. Moving the date forward There’s no reason to talk at a coffee shop (or other date location) for several hours. By taking the girl on a walk, you can create the sense that your date has forward momentum to it. Within the first 30 minutes or so of a date I’ll simply suggest, “Let’s go on a walk, ” (this has never been met with resistance). It doesn’t really matter if the area you’re walking in is visually appealing, all that matters is that the two of you are going on a bit of an adventure together. You don’t have to initiate physicality while you’re walking with a girl (if there’s sexual tension you don’t need to touch her until you’re in a bedroom), but physicality can be useful in that it will give you objective feedback that a girl likes you. If you hold a girl’s hand while walking, you can be fairly confident that the girl is interested in you. If you’re unsure whether a girl you’re on a date with is attracted to you, touch can be a great way to get some reassurance. Pulling While you’re walking with the girl, you can seed the pull. To do this, suggest something that would be fun to do together. For example, you might say: You: Have you seen Black Mirror? Her: No. You: Really, you haven’t? It’s such a great show, you have to see it, we’ll watch an episode sometime. Her: Okay, sounds cool! After you seed the pull, go back to normal conversation for a while. Now that the idea of watching a show together has been brought up, it will be much smoother to invite her to your place later on. Later in the conversation, say something to the effect of, “You know what, let’s go watch an episode of Black Mirror right now, it’ll be fun16. ” When going for the pull, you might get resistance. If the girl says, “Oh, I don’t really have time, ” this might indicate that she’s not ready to go home with you yet, or it might mean that she really doesn’t have much time. If she gives you resistance, you can allay her concerns by saying, “Well, I live five minutes away, and it’s just a TV show, we can watch one episode then I’ll take you home right after. ” If she was on the fence about whether to go home with you, this line will most likely change her mind. If a girl is giving resistance because she doesn’t want to come home with you, the above line won’t make a difference, and there’s no point in pressing the issue any further. If, however, she agrees to watch the show, lead her to your car (or her car if you don’t have one), or get an Uber, and keep doing what you were doing. The tone of the conversation should be exactly the same as it was before the pull—you’re shooting the shit and having fun. Some guys get quiet and awkward once they pull, this kills the vibe which can lead the girl to say, “You know what, I should be getting home now. ” Don’t be that guy. Conclusion When a girl agrees to go on a date with you, she’s probably hoping you will turn her on and excite her. Remember, modern women are generally open minded to the idea of having casual sex: they just need to meet a guy who makes them feel genuine desire. Understand: the girl wants you to do well, she wants you to sweep her off her feet. Fortunately, you don’t have to do much to stand out from the competition, most modern men are incredibly insecure about their sexuality and turn dates into interviews in which she doesn’t feel desire, she feels like she’s signing a business contract. The keys to a good date are to create sexual tension by holding strong eye contact and allowing yourself to feel desire for the girl, while also building comfort by showing interest in what the girl says and being willing to disagree with her or challenge her opinions (this shows genuineness). Do those two things, and all you’ll be able to move the date forward by inviting her to hang out with you in private. If you do this well, the majority of women you go on a date with will want to hook up with you. If you liked this article, you can find more of my content on YouTube: I also post live infield footage on Snapchat (approaches, number closes, etc. ) Username= Averyghayden.

Hello and welcome to Post Pull Depression, the only thread that gets Noct down but gets up again! Well this is certainly a surprise, FF15 rears its ugly head quite early. I’ve been on record as quite the FF15 hater because I played the “beta” version of it and I’ll be damned if I’m going to go back and play the “full” version. It’s been 3 years since the game released (no seriously, it has been) and I really just don’t give a shit about it anymore. The anger has turned to apathy. So if you want rage fueled rants you can go read the other FF15 PPDs. Gladio Prompto Ignis On second thought, after reading over the wiki on these characters and trying to make fucking sense of things, the anger is back! Let’s take a look at these dumb fucking units from a dumb fucking video game! Gentiana Totally Not Shiva Gentiana Free? : Free! This is the start of our free 7* units complete with a farmable STMR! And she's actually better than expected! Oh and btw Genitalia is totally NOT Shiva. I mean her LB is called Diamond Dust, she has nothing but ice moves and her bio says she’s not human. She has a skill that proclaims her love for a fire dude. Her trust ability gives bonus stats when Shiva is the set esper… but those are all just coincidences! Total coincidences! CWA: Fuck Tha Police Frozen Fractals - Ice magic damage (5x) with consecutive increase (6 times, 2. 5x each, 20x max) to all enemies Chain=Chaos Wave I’m not pointing this out because fractals are cool (and frozen fractals are even cooler) but because I thought we were killing CW frames in GL? Did Goomie forget about this? Why aren’t these CWA frames? TMR: FREE! Gentiana’s Outfit - Robe DEF+22, MAG+46, SPR+32, 20% Ice Resist Well this is mediocre at best. Both Rainbow Robe and Strategist’s Cape are better and that’s not even getting into STMR territory. This isn’t even better than Snow Gown which they shoved down our throats after we refused to farm it. Free is free I guess, enjoy having an equipment slot permanently used up... I might just totally skip this and shoot straight for her STMR. STMR: FREE-ISH! Mark of the Glacian - Increase MAG (50%); Increase evoke damage (25%) Glacian is just another name for Shiva in FF15. Again, total coincidence! No relation at all here folks! Also, evo damage is different than evo magic but they both boost evoke damage like a killer would. While a summoner likely already has some evo magic, evo damage is very unlikely so this can be a pretty good boost on still useless units! Depression: PATCHED For those who think I’m being extra sensitive about all the post game changes they made, check out this bit I found in Gentiana’s wiki bio. In the 1. 00 version, Bahamut spoke in the astral language, but this was changed into the human language in the day one patch. When Noctis originally met Shiva, she did not speak, but a scene was added in a patch that has Shiva tell Noctis the story of the Great War of Old, and she uses the human language. This makes Bahamut and Shiva the only Astrals heard speaking the human language. Shiva originally spoke in the astral language during the battle against the penultimate boss, and Noctis translated what she said to the others. As of patch 1. 21, Shiva speaks the human language, and the message is also different: when she spoke in the Hexatheon language, she asked Noctis to bring the light. In human language, she asks her love to rest in peace. How many fucking changes is this? Did they have any fucking clue what game they were even making? Who:? What the fuck is this thing? I don’t remember it at all. Mascot character of fast food chain "Crow's Nest” That does sound a little familiar now, I think you could take a picture with him on a bench like those creepy af Ronald McDonald benches. This doesn’t seem like enough to actually make an FFBE unit on him though. Though his appearance is small in the main game, Kenny makes further comedic cameos in downloadable content, notably in Final Fantasy XV: Comrades, where he is a randomly appearing AI-controlled party member and a boss who dual-wields fish. Oh so he wasn’t really in the beta version that I played. Well I’m glad the rest of you apparently enjoyed him. Passives: Pretty Good Looking over his kit, besides all the stupid fucking salmon names… it actually adds up to an impressive defensive kit. 100% passive provoke 20% innate evade 50% resistance to fire/ice/lightning/light It’s a shame that his active skills are complete and utter trash… But if you need somebody to just stand there and provoke during the elemental tetris era then I guess he’s your man or bird or what-the-fuck-ever. TMR: Don’t Care Kenny Crow Costume - Clothes DEF+38, SPR+22; Null Poison; ATK/DEF +20% when swording Don’t care. I tried to find something to say about this like “it would be good for Onion Knight” or “why does it protect against poison” but whatever this is lame, let’s move on. Depression: CAW Malphasie: “CAW CAW” Kenny Crow: “CAW” Malphasie: “Faker…” Age: 24 That’s right, the main “waifu” of the game is an ancient 24 years old. Are we sure that’s not her grandmother’s age? To make matters worse Noctis is only 20 which means this old bag is robbing the cradle. I even believe there is a DLC called Final Fantasy XV: Cougars. Where is the DLC that drops her to an acceptable 14 years old as per JRPG tradition? A female Oracle with the power to speak with the gods Or what we call them now, crazy people. Lunafreya: “The end is near! Leviathan demands your sacrifice of fish tacos! REPENT! ” Curing the Starscourge [5 turns cooldown, available on turn 1] Auto-revive (80% HP) for 3 turns to all allies Increase water resistance (100%) for 3 turns to all allies I do vaguely recall a Starscourge in the game! That was some weird illness that she could cure, but then it had like no relevance at all? Apparently this is causing the night to be longer (despite being a strain of malaria? ) which I guess plays into why everything in this fucking game is named after “darkness” or “sleep”. I guess this is why everything was dark 10 years later? I swear this game went off the fucking rails in its back half and I had no fucking clue what was happening. Lunafreya: “I warned you the end was here! Not enough fish tacos sacrificed! ” Somebody please stab her… TMR: Necklace for the lass’ neck Lunafreya’s Necklace - Acc; MP+75, DEF+24, MAG+24, SPR+52, SPR +20%; Water Res 30% Aww… I was hoping we’d get her badass trident that she’s holding. Something hot about chicks wielding spears. Oh well I guess I can just always equip her with a spear if I wanted to… and she can’t equip spears! She’s holding a fucking trident but she can’t equip a fucking spear? Fuck this game. STMR: Shit Duty to the World - Evoke Damage 50%; Ice/Lightning/Water/Earth Res 50% Naw that’s just a joke, what’s her real STMR? Oh that’s it? More like Doody to the World if you ask me. Depression: RUINED KINGSGLAIVE I actually liked the Kingsglaive movie and at the end of it, after everyone basically dies, Lunafreya walks off with the Ring of the Lucii like she’s going to do some badass shit when FF15 starts FOR REAL! Then she does nothing for the first half of the game, shows up in the Venice town randomly and gets stabbed to death then makes an appearance at the ending. That’s all I really remember of her! And there was a wedding dress made for her by a real life dress designer. Yet no tux made for Noctis. This game is sexist. Oh and her banner in JP caused a massive quit wave because of how shitty it was. Noct Noct: Who's There? Do I really need to introduce Noctis? He’s that guy in the ads for that A New Empire mobile game! I see him almost every day now. I didn't know this was a collab banner! Camp Recovery [6 turns cooldown, available on turn 1] Cure ATK/DEF/MAG/SPR break to caster Restore HP/MP (100%) to caster Did someone mention camping? Might I recommend Coleman brand camping products? You can use your American Express card to buy it and pick up some Cup Noodles on the way out while you’re at it! Regina: 0. 2 Everyone is hailing Noctis as “Regina 2. 0” that is until you have to actually use him. How do you use Regina? You charge up her ‘Gina Cannon by picking skills with relevant killers for what you are fighting. Anti-Fairy Module Anti-Demon Module Anti-Machine Module Pretty simple right! You are fighting a machine you pick Anti-Machine Module. Well you do the same for Noctis. Here’s all his skills with killers. Star of the Rogue (Crown Prince Noctis) Scepter of the Pious (Crown Prince Noctis) Sword of the Tall (Crown Prince Noctis) Axe of the Conqueror (Crown Prince Noctis) Well that’s helpful… Thank goodness it’s telling me (Crown Prince Noctis) I get very confused what unit’s skillset I’m actually in ALL THE TIME. So if I’m fighting a human what do I pick? Star of the Rogue (Crown Prince Noctis) - Fairy Scepter of the Pious (Crown Prince Noctis) - Undead Sword of the Tall (Crown Prince Noctis) - Human Axe of the Conqueror (Crown Prince Noctis) - Demon Oh duh! I feel so stupid now! I love checking skill descriptions every single time! TMR: Asstral The Astrals' Protection - Increase ATK/MAG (40%); Increase LB damage (30%) I read this as The Astral’s Projection every single time. Why does it give MAG like you’re supposed to build him hybrid when only his shitty flasks use the MAG stat? STMR: Shit Blade Ultima Blade - MP+100, ATK+174; LB damage 50% Here’s your consolation prize if you didn’t pull Eleven’s STMR. That has an average of 5% more damage from variance! That makes this weapon pure and utter shit! I’d just sell it if I were you! Depression: FUCK NOCTIS Fuck Noctis. I should have known better. When OG Noctis came out, he was the 2nd big HOLY SHIT POWERCREEP IS REAL unit. The first being Lightning of course. So I went all in for Noctis and failed to get him. (I also went all in and failed on getting Lightning, and Orlandu, and the Nier units and why did I keep playing this fucking game? ) So when Noctis came back on banner for some player’s choice whatever, I went for him again, and didn’t get him. Fairly certain there was a third attempt that failed as well. So you’d think I’d know now not to try and chase Noctis. But I’ve always been jealous of Regina and her FTKO capabilities. And CP Noctis is basically Regina 2. 0 so I gotta right? RIGHT? Even though these banner types are complete AIDS. Well I did… and failed. First step: 2G9B Second step: Only guaranteed rainbow Malphasie #3 Fuck this stepup. Still though, I have tickets! Let’s try those and after 20 or so… I got MS Nichol #2. Now, I’ve always wanted a dupe despite not really using him anymore. But still fuck him. Fuck this banner, I’m done. Moral of the story, fuck Noctis. Fuck this Noctis and fuck all future Noctii. Post Pull Depression Did you hear that Bravely Default II is coming to the Switch! Yu: “For the gravy! We are getting another chance! ” Magnolia: “Oui oui, maybe we can finally get a collab in ze FFBE GL, non? ” Uh… actually sorry this isn’t Bravely Second coming to the Switch. This is a brand new Bravely game coming to the Switch. Yu: “Oh gravy…” See ya next banner!

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